I like making shit up. Like... brainstorming ideas for household inventions that someone should create, build, market and sell. I'd do it myself and rake in all of the cash, but, you know, the thing is, I have no engineering skillz, I'm slightly lazy, and my arm hurts, so even though I conjure up some brilliant ideas, they are going nowhere. Fast.
And I complain that I need more money...
Today's invention has to do with a semi-monthly task I loathe with all of my being.
Clipping Daisy's toenails.
They are long.
Really long.
Clawish freaky Guinness Book of World Record long.
Embarrassingly I am a horrible pet owner long.
And the disclaimer...
But, you see, I am incapable of doing them myself. As several vets have written on her chart notes, Daisy is: "too wiggly." I cannot hold her and clip. I cannot hold her period. So... she will not stand still for the toenail clipping. It takes about 45 people to hold her down, and then she cries the whole time.
Heart wrenching.
I can't stand it.
So, usually, when her nails are grossly long, I emerge from my fog of laz-i-tude simply out of sheer terror, and I take the pooch to Petco. And make them do it.
The Petco groomers are lifesavers, I tell you.
Somehow, I can't get myself to haul her to Petco right now even though her nails will cut you from 7 miles away. I have no excuse other than Petco (and all of its doggy splendor) seems too overwhelming after trudging through another day of 45 degrees and rain.
This winter needs to end.
ANY TIME NOW.
Ok, enough about me.
The invention...
Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Barbie-Dream-House style dog parlor? You shove them in, they go through some sort of car wash system (powered by solar energy and biodegrable soap and hand cranks and recycled water) which the dog rolls on via conveyer belt, fluffed, folded, nails clipped.
I think it is a freakin' genius idea. I would buy one, wouldn't you? Maybe it could even come with an Easy Bake oven attachment.
You wanna make a prototype?
--This Single Gal
Thursday, May 8, 2008
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