Hedge anxiety

The hedge in front of my house is the bane of my existence.

Truly.

For most of the time I have lived here, I fretted about the overgrowth of said hedge, and how its gnarly viney leafy ugliness was reflecting on me as the new kid in the 'hood. And, truth be told, my neat freakness OCD started perking up every time I drove into the driveway or looked out the window.

I tell you, the thing was that bad... or I need some serious psychiatric help... or maybe a combo.

Anyway...

About a month ago the hedge got a big ass haircut. It is no longer overgrown. Due to the over zealousness of my hedge chopping crew, all signs of leaf and limb were shorn to the roots.

And now, my friends, I am nearly certain that the hedge, by my best estimation

is

DEAD.

Dead, I tell you.

Look... an actual unretouched photograph...

So, of course, I have a whole lotta new hedge anxiety. Of the crap it's dead what do I do variety...

Many of my friends (and a few of them are landscapers) have assured me that there is no way you can kill this particular hedge (it is ivy on a chain link fence. .. yeah, super glam). I am not convinced. It has been about a month since the hedge slaying and there is absolutely no sign of hedge life.

Nothing.

No leaves.

No greenness.

No viney green things.

Nothing.

I am convinced

it is dead.

I'm having some new-fangled hedge anxiety...

I tell you, the thing is the bane of my existence...